“We are going to try the red line and blue line so we can climb some peaks,” said a thru-hiker when I was packing my resupply at the Silver City post office. I told him that I would do the pink line aka the Gila Alternative. The red line is the official CDT and the resupply is challenging if you stay on it for the entire way to Pie Town. Many people take the Gila alternative for an easier resupply and an option to soak at Gila hot springs. I looked at the map again. I figured that the red and blue line route eventually merge into the pink line. If I do the red and blue, I could climb peaks and still get to the resupply and soak in hot springs. It’s a bit longer but I changed my plan and decided to do the red and blue line.

After a quiet and solo walk, I settled that evening at Bear Creek. It was the first time I could camp near the natural stream. So wonderful to wash myself at the end of the day. Before going to sleep, I filled up 8 liters of water, knowing that there might be no water for the next day and a half. I fell asleep thinking that it would be heavy and it was worth it for the peaks.

The next morning, I left the camp early. I love walking before dawn, watching the sky turning bright and sunrise from the trail. The trail was on the west side of the ridge so for the majority of my hike up to Twin Sisters was in the shade. When I arrived at the spot where a social trail led up to the top of the North Sister, I dropped my pack and started walking towards the peak. The mountains here reminded me of the North Cascades. It’s steep! I made it to the top and sat on a tiny rock to take it all in. I could see the peak of South Sister across the saddle. On my way down, I walked across the saddle to go up to the South Sister as well. Then I saw a steep gap to get down to the bottom of the saddle. I looked around and figured that I had to down-climb the 5th-class slab. I turned around thinking I could do it but I better not. At that moment, I saw a pair of peregrine falcons flying towards me then turned around and disappeared. A good sign I thought – they represent both strength and vulnerability. I am strong and vulnerable. They can coexist. 

For the rest of the day, I climbed two more peaks: Black Peak and Signature Peak. Both had buildings on top of the mountain so they weren’t my favorite but I still enjoyed the challenge. 

Then I thought a bigger challenge was coming. For the next 60 miles, I’ll travel a deep canyon of the middle fork of the Gila River. I know there are many crossings to navigate toward upstream. Perhaps it’s good to accept vulnerability as a short person. If it makes sense I told myself it’s okay to wait for someone tall to do the crossing with me to be safe.

The Gila alternative requires crossing the river back and forth over 200 times. Not only it is time-consuming but also it’s nerve-racking since river crossing is probably the most dangerous thing that I would do in the wilderness. Plus my height and weight make it more susceptible to dangerous situations since taller and heavier people are, the better and safer in crossings. Someone who is 6’2” may cross the river at their knee height whereas I will probably get water to my quads. Plus, I’ll be doing this solo. 

So when I began, I tried to stay on high ground as much as I could to avoid crossing. That involved lots of loose rock scrambling and bushwhacking. I was down to a mile-an-hour pace. This is part of the adventure and at that point, it’s all off-trail traveling. After a few high-ground traveling and river crossing, I sat down to take a break. I saw a guy whom I met last two days in a row walking up toward me and said, “Miho!” 

I was relieved to see someone who was tall! Sheehan is 6’2″ and he offered to hike with me.

For the rest of the day, it went so much faster and easier. We took turns to navigate the terrain and discussed the best places to cross. Sheehan was considered and said, “You make the call where to cross and I can go first to see how deep it is or I can spot you.” He also mentioned the hot springs on the side of the river. When we found it, we were so excited but when I got in first I said, “Oh my god it’s so hot that I cannot sit directly on the bottom!” We put a rock under our butt and sat there uncomfortably. I decided to name these hot springs as the butt-burning hot springs. Sheehan has an old soul and is easy to be around. We crossed the river back and forth, stopping for beautiful scenery. He called for the day early and I kept going. When I got to my camp, I thought what an awesome day I had! A challenging, pleasant, and sketchy day with a wonderful companion.

The next morning, I hiked to the mud hot springs after crossing some deep water. I was completely soaked and when I arrived, I was shivering. I jumped in to get warm and appreciated nature’s gift that gave me warmth. 

I made it to Gila Hot Springs campground in the late morning. I was getting closer to the campground, when Augie, a campground host, found me and said, “Hop on!” He gave me a ride in his ATV to the camp and told me that he used to live in Lander, Wyoming. “Lander? Do you know NOLS? I used to work for them.” What a small world! He and I connected, especially when we talked about our connection to our culture and the mountains. I haven’t met a single CDT hiker of color and meeting him and sharing some common experiences as BIPOC was healing. 

Soon, Sheehan showed up. I said, “I’ll be camping there and if you want to join me, I don’t mind.” A few minutes later, I saw him walking towards me with a big smile and said, “I’m coming over and camp with you!” As we unpack our resupply, he shared a poem that his friend gave him before he left. It touched me deeply because it was about being true to yourself and walking this life and planet with humbleness. It spoke to my value.

As we were hanging out, Augie came over and said, “I’m going to make some squash tonight. Would you be interested in it? I always have more food than I could eat. I’ll ring a bell. When you hear it, come on over.”

Being vulnerable and accepting help opened up a wonderful friendship with Sheehan. Augie is offering a fresh meal, a gesture of kindness and connection. 21 miles of many crossings of the river was a lot and yet so little for this much learning. It’s perfect. It’s magical.

All it’s missing is soaking in the hot springs. It’s still pretty hot. After a meal and when the stars paint the sky, it’ll be the time. The time for taking deep breaths and soaking all that the universe is offering me in.

Appreciation: Jake and Barb for giving me a ride to the trailhead, Bear Creek for providing me with fresh clear water, Sheehan for his company and meaningful conversations as well as crossing the river together, and Augie for such a warm welcome to Gila Hot Springs campground and inviting us to fresh meal

Best learning: Being brave and vulnerable are two sides of the same coin

Challenges: Limited water source on the red and blue line, carrying 8 liters of water (over 16 LB) on peak ascent day, bushwhacking, scrambling on loose rocks, traversing rock face with a pack and crossing the river, some crossings were above my chest that I swam twice

Disappointment: Butt-burning hot springs! Both Sheehan and I did some sketchy rock moves to get there for that butt-burning experience!

Exciting moments: A view from the top of North Sister, seeing small patches of first snow at 9,000 feet on the north face of Black Peak, meeting and spending time with Sheehan, a comical swim I ended up doing in the supporting presence of Sheehan, mud hot springs and Gila Hot Springs campgrounds with Augie!